I hate my family. They make me so miserable. My dad doesn’t want me and neither does my mom. No matter what house I were to live in, its like they don’t care for my existence anyway. I cannot wait to go to college far away and then never talk to or see any of them again. I don’t want them to know what ever great things I accomplish in the future, I don’t want them to meet any of the children I plan on having, I don’t want them to come visit me, I don’t want them to try and contact me. I want them out of my life for GOOD when I move out. I want to stop feeling so miserable all the time because no matter what I do it’ll never be good enough for them. Being depressed you would think they would treat me better than they do, but no of course not. Instead they make me feel worse about myself and make me feel like shit all the time. God forbid I tweet something about them or make a status, its the end of them damn world, but my raging cunt of a mother can call me all the names in the world while she thinks I’m sleeping. She wonders why I hate her? Well there you go bitch theres your fucking reason. As long as your stupid prick of a husband is happy, you’re happy. You are a sick and twisted bitch and I cannot stand you anymore. I wish you would’ve given me up for adoption because then MAYBE I would have been with a family who actually wants me around. I would rather live in an orphanage or a foster home rather than be with these people. I hate my house, its always a mess because this family is disgusting. I hate having people over because allll of my friends parents were smart and went to college or married people who actually were going somewhere in life, not low life faggots like my wonderful step father. I hate being picked up in the car my mother owns its a piece of shit and it makes us look beyond poor. I hate being pressured to cheerlead in college, I hate cheering now, the fuck makes you think I want to cheer in college?? I hate the people I go to school with here, I can’t trust anyone with anything and when I tell people things they change the subject and make everything about themselves. On top of all of this I feel like the biggest asshole because those poor people in Connecticut lost their lives friday and I cried all weekend over it and then my family starts their shit which makes me complain and then feel like a terrible person because well at least I’m still living :/ I just don’t know what to do anymore, when I’m actually happy everyone else is miserable which then makes me miserable. But when I’m sad everyone around me is happy and they make me feel even worse for being sad. What do you do when you have no one to talk to because everyone that surrounds you doesn’t really give two shits about you…?
Struggling
Its not even the fact that this really kills me inside, its the fact that the more and more this keeps happening the more worthless I feel and the more I wish I was never born. Why can’t I just be happy all the time like everyone else? :/
I think it’s about time for a Ryan Lochte dedication post.
And now I bring you some of his amazing tweets…
(Source: pattiepadfoot, via pennsylvaniabelle-deactivated20)
SKDHFKJBSKE :’(
I honestly don’t know how I havent taken my own life yet.. I hate everything about it, I have the worst friends and the most unsupportive family. Im sick and tired of being everybody’s back up friend, the person they just ask for advice from, and the person that they hangout with when their boyfriend is not available.. Maybe I’m just bitter because I havent been in a relationship since I was a freshman. But whatever it is it still sucks. My mom is the biggest bitch I know, she will do whatever it takes to please my stepdad even if that means ruining my happiness. My stepdad is the biggest prick EVER. My real dad is barely in the picture, I only see him on holidays or when its convenient for him. My stepmom is honestly the best person I’ve ever met, shes so easy to talk to and down to earth, sometimes I wish she was my real mom. :/ IM SO SICK OF THIS SHIT! Just once I would like to be important to someone. To be the first thing someone thinks about when they wake up and the last thing before they go to sleep. I want to be cared about and loved, just once.. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so fucked up. Nothing I ever do will be right and I’ll never be truly happy.. Life sucks.
Damn
Today is a repeat of last year.. like perfectly repeated you leave me for that ugly skank ONCE AGAIN. Same kid, same bitch. I’ll never understand this. </3
